Poppy, the Red Preistess
by Sparrow Windsinger
Summary: I was at the top of my Rezo craze in the height of my Slayers craze and a friend told me about the gender bender. It was natural the I had to make a female Rezo. It focusses on a PoppyGourry relationship but is only pre stuff. plz r&r!
1. Diamonds

Chapter 1 - Diamonds  
  
Lina looked at her hand once more, then arranged it on the table. "Twenty- one, I win!" "How the...!" Zelgadis started. "That can't be right. Let me see that... Oh, shoot. Five dollars, you win." The door opened with a sudden in-rush of cold air, and two girls stepped in. One was a little shorter than Zelgadis, had dark blonde shoulder length hair that curved inwards, and red-rimmed glasses. She wore a pair of blue jeans, black shoes, a dark green denim jacket over a white t-shirt, and a long epee in a black leather scabbard hanging at her waist. She looked about twenty-five. Her companion might have come up to Zel's waist if she tried very hard, but probably lower and certainly not higher. Her hair was silver white, reached the floor and tied in two separate bunches with purple ribbons. She wore a dark green smock-type thing with puffy sleeves, that came to the middle of her thighs, and incredibly baggy black pants under brown boots that ended just below her knees. It would have been almost impossible to guess her age, but right now she looked about seventeen. They took a table to the left of the Slayers, drew up two more chairs and ordered sake. Lina collected her five dollars from the other three. "Let's play again!" Amelia stated. "Do we have to?" whined Lina's blond companion, "My head hurts..." "Then go upstairs and lie down, yoghurt brains!" snapped Lina, anxious to play again and get more money. He left, and Amelia shuffled the cards and dealt them. "What stakes are we playing for this time?" Zel asked, coming back to earth with a metaphorical bump. "Fifteen!" cried Lina. "But Miss Lina, that's going from five to fifteen! you're meant to do it slower! that's the rules!" *And we all know what happens when someone breaks the rules in front of Amelia* thought Zel, invisibly shuddering. "Ten!" "Six!" "Eight!" Zel could see a fight starting to break out. "Seven." he announced, "Seven or nothing." "All, right then," sniffed Lina, "Seven." They began to play. The door opened again, and a brightly dressed young man of about twenty-four stepped in. He had short brown hair and wore a light blue headband around it. he was almost entirely covered in a large orange cape, but his white pants and yellow boots were still visible. He had dark tanned skin, and carried a sort of aura that screamed "nothing can upset me, for I am cheerful enough to win double gold in the cheery Olympics". Zel turned his attention back to the game, which (much to Lina's dismay) Amelia was winning fast. He walked over to the girl's table, and sat down without bothering to remove his cloak. "Well! You decided to come on time, Selroni" The short girl addressed him frostily. She had a voice of acid and steel. "My business usually detaines me, Princess Tsastavniak." He said, bowing low. "I know, I know... sit down." "Dr. O'Farrell..." he bowed slightly to the taller of the two girls and sat down. They drank some sake and talked about things; politics, music, the tabloid headlines... nothing special. After about five minutes went by, the door opened and another girl stepped in. She was a little taller than Dr. O'Farrell, and wore a long blue dress and blue high heels. She was pale, and her eyes were very slanted, like an angular almond, and dark green. Her hair was long, reaching her ankles, and white-blonde. She wore a black circlet on her head, presumably made from silk,with a dark sapphire set in the front. Before entering, she stood back, and a purple haired, smiling man slunk jauntily over to the table. Then she stepped in herself. She walked over to Dr. O'Farrell, Princess Tsastavniak and Selroni, and sat down herself. "All here, I see." Unlike her face, which was bitter and slightly aging, her voice was musical and laughing. Zel was instantly enchanted by it, and got the feeling that he was supposed to be. The brightly dressed young man Selroni jumped to his feet and bowed low, lower than he had done to the Princess, and then stood again, smiling so hard it looked as though his face might be divided in half by his lips. "Deldara, Deldara! Voice like the birdsong, bells chime to the sound of your name, Deldara! My love, Deldara!" If Zel was surprised by this sudden outburst of adoration to a strange, middle-aged woman from a cheery youth, the rest of the inn wasn't. Not a soul looked up in the entire inn, and the Bartender kept his nose in the glass he was wiping. Zel looked back to the cards at a sudden "A-ha!" from Lina. He didn't think about the other group again. Behind him, the Princess was addressing the smiling man. "Xelloss Metallium. Deldara managed to interest you in our business, I suppose." "Yes. Princess, I am not on your side. Nor am I on the side of that which you seek. I am a Mazoku, and I am therefore already bound. All high level Mazoku are like that. Do not expect any support in any other venture you should happen to make if you do not gratify me for those. Expect less from my kind. We are completely Astral beings, and therefore have no real dealings with those on the planes, this or any other." "I see." Replied the Princess. Dr. O'Farrell looked up. "Excuse me, sir, but perhaps you might inform me exactly how much support we can expect from you in this venture?" She spoke with a full Texan accent, soft with leaning vowels. "As much as you need to complete it. But if you fail, I will not help you. I am in this for success, not failure." "Oh, I understand that, Sir." "One thing. So far I have only been introduced to you as Dr. O'Farrel, and Princess Tsastavniak. I assume, as people, you will have first names as well...?" "Yes." The Princess answered her, "The doctor is Sara, and I am Tasha." "And your friend?" Deldara spoke up again, but this time Zel's elven ears didn't hear it. "Ah, yes. We didn't introduce you to him. This is Selroni Verati, world's greatest flatterer and full time charmer. Not that he could flatter or charm a Mazoku, I think." Xelloss laughed. At that moment the door opened, and a seven foot tall figure cloaked and hooded completely in black, with just the lower half of it's face and it's white boots visible stood in the doorway. Xelloss' laughter stopped abruptly, and he launched himself at the door. The door slammed shut instantly, and there was and almighty crash almost straight away after, as Xelloss hit the door in his face. There was a sound of horses' hooves receding quickly into the distance. Xelloss returned to her chair rubbing his nose. "Was that her?" Asked Selroni. "Yes. Unfortunately she must have sensed me, so we shall have to wait for the next town." "How do you know she has sensed you?" Inquired Tasha. "I do not mean to diminish you, Princess, but she is a seven foot tall scythe wielding female clone of one of the most powerful and deranged people to exist in, *ahem*, recent memory, with skills from every type of magic other than nightmare, and the Lost Powers. And although you and your friends are very powerful, I daresay she wouldn't mind just killing you straight away to get you off her back. I have been paid by other people to do their work with them, and I know that she would only run like that if she knew I was here. How do I know? Simple. Mazoku, the demon race, love to feed of bad emotion. We strike the fear of the Ruby-eyed one into most people, and her fear was certainly worthy of Lord Ruby-eye. I might even have her now, if it wasn't for that door. I have been trying to stay relatively non-astral, and the door got in the way. Ah well, let us hope, ne?" "Yes. I think perhaps we should go now, we are attracting attention." announced Deldara. "The mention of the Lost Powers, Mazoku and Shaburanigdo in the same speech is enough, apparently, to wake up even these rummies." "Very well. Next time." Said Xelloss, and faded away. Dr. O'Farrell said goodbye, and left for her inn, which happened to be the same as Selroni's. Selroni took his leave with a "Goodbye, Deldara, Goodbye! Forget me not, until we meet again!" and a deep bow to both the Princess and Deldara, and left. The Princess saddled her little pony and rode to Cepheid-Knows-Where. Deldara flew away through the trees. She would spend the night as a Wolf, one of her favourite forms, in the forest. Being a Psychic gave her a definite advantage over things like where to sleep. Naturally, she wouldn't really turn into a wolf, just convince herself and everything that sees her that she is wolf. It works just as well, apart from the awful back pain you get when you remember that you're a human again. The Slayers finished their game of cards, Amelia winning the seven dollars. "I'm tired, I think I'll go to bed." stated Lina, and left. Amelia hurried after her. Zel, however, stayed behind. After a few minutes, he stood and walked over to the bar. The bartender went over to him. "Is thur anythin' you mun be wantin'?" He mumbled through a set of badly fitting false teeth. "Not a drink, no. I wanted to know, who were those people sitting to the left of us?" "Ah don' roit'ly 'amember, zur. 'Oo wur they?" Zel struggled to remember any details about them. "There was a Doctor... and a Princess... And others. They were talking to a demon." He managed. As soon as the words left his lips, he was suddenly surprised at himself; He never remembered hearing that there was a Doctor, or a Princess, and certainly not that they were talking to a demon. The bartender, however, understood him. A dark look flickered across his face, and he lowered his voice. "Yurr torkin' 'bout them 'unt'ers, yew are. Yurr, they bin comin' t' moi bar fur nigh on a week, naow. They bin 'untin' furr a diamon', so far as oi know, Roight 'till las' week. They come 'ere wi' some new peopl', an' they draws up thi' chair. An' Oi sez to moisel', "Look a' 'em, Lucian," Oi sez, "cuz if they dun' be doin' bad, Then Oi'm a bot'le o' sherry." Tha' young ma' wid th' oran' cloak, e' come an' sit daown, an' 'e sez: "Oi' do 'ave yurr diamon', Xelloss Me'allium." An' 'e reaches innoo 'is cloak an' pulls out wot may roightly be th' mos' bigges' diamon' Oi do ever see in moi loife." Zel couldn't help thinking that it was probably the only diamond the man had ever seen in his life, but he took the point. "An' 'e shoves it t'ward th' demon, 'oo takes i' and sticks i' inoo 'is bag." Zel raised an eyebrow. "And what are they hunting now?" "A youn' woma', if Oi do roightly kno'." "Has she ever come here? Do you know what she looks like?" "Aye, tha' Oi do. She on'y ever cum in 'ere once with 'er 'ood off, so I looks at 'er well. She be 'bout seven fee' tall, brown eyes, pale ski', an' pur'le 'air. 'En't no normal 'air, oither. I' goes up." "How do you mean?" "Loike this." the barman traced his finger around his own head. "What was she wearing?" "Red tuni', red leggin's, an' woite boo's. She cum up 'a me, an' she sez: "Are they 'ere?" Oi knows wha' she be meanin', an' Oi tells 'er no. She asks furr a bot'le o' vodka, an' a bag'o' horse feed. Oi gives i' to 'er, an' she goes. Thass all, Zur."He was starting to be wary of this hooded young man, and didn't like the way he was asking so many questions. "Do you know why they're looking for her?" "Oi don' roightly kno', zur." Zel got the hint. "Thank you." He put a dollar on the surface, and left. That night, he started dreaming again.  
  
***  
  
In the next town, a tall young woman dressed in a red tunic with brown eyes and purple hair checked into an inn, had her horse stabled, and went into her room. There she removed her black hood and cloak, and threw it on the bed. She stood for a while with her back to the door, breathing hard, and then sank slowly to the floor. She put her arms around her legs, and her head on her knees. "They're hunting me, still, they're still hunting me, dear Cepheid, they're still after me..." Her fingers wound into her hair. "There was a demon with them! a high level one! Oh gods, how did they get a demon to follow me..." There was a knock at the door. She screamed and sprang away from it as if a snake had come through it. "Miss?" It was just Jerry, the bartender's helper. She opened the door slowly. "Sorry to disturb you, Miss, but Mrs. Whipstick said to ask if you wanted anything." She inhaled deeply a couple of times, and then smiled brightly. "Yes. Vodka, If you have any. Thank you." He ran off, and returned quickly with her vodka. She drank the entire half bottle in a matter of three hours, and then fell asleep almost immediately. The next morning however, she was able to enjoy herself. She had a bath, washed her hair and went downstairs. After breakfast she had her scythe sharpened, and bought some chocolate-nut ice cream, before setting off again. She liked to stay on the move. It made her more inconspicuous. If she stayed in one place, people could remember what she looked like better. The cloak helped. Along with the scythe and pale skin she looked like Death from the old pagan myths. Only those who saw her without it would speak to her without shaking audibly. She had heard rumours, even, that Death was indeed visiting the earth. Nobody was really sure, though. Ah, well. she would never meet them again, so what did it matter. As she reached the edge of the town, Jerry called to her. "Miss, *pant pant* chased you all the way here *pant pant pant* Mrs. Whipstick said to give you this. *pant pant pant.....*" he handed her a bottle of vodka and a bag of horse feed. She accepted them, and smiled cheerily. "Ta, Jerry." She was about to turn and ride away, then remembered something. "Sorry about this. Security, you know." She snapped her fingers, and Jerry blinked one or two times. "Here, who are you?" "Never you mind." She told him. Then she trotted away.  
  
*** 


	2. Gourry holds his own

Chapter two - Gourry holds his own  
  
Lina was running around the shops, selling her various spoils and dragging Gourry Gabriev with her. Zelgadis had apparently gone to the hall of records very early that morning, so nobody really expected to see him that day. Lina and Gourry had left Amelia lecturing a small dragon on her favourite subject, and neither knew nor cared whether she had stopped yet. They doubted it. At about two in the afternoon, Lina had made forty-seven dollars seventy-two cents, and the haggling was going to her stomach. They ate at a small café, spent twenty dollars, and left the café considerably smaller than it had been when they arrived. A youngish man with a moustache hailed Lina down a dirty-looking alleyway. He pulled out a small gun and aimed, and after a little more haggling Lina left thirty-two dollars five cents and a small gun richer. The man would have a headache for several days to come, and that was after he became conscious. She was heading back to the inn when there was a small pop, and a certain purple-haired Mazoku appeared in front of her. "Hello Lina chan!!!" "Don't you Lina-chan me, what do you want. Whatever it is, you won't get it." "I just wanted to say hi." "Are you sure?" "Of course! would I lie to you?" "Yes." "Weeelllll..." "What are you doing here anyway?" "Oh, just helping out. Summer job." "You don't have a summer job!" "I do! well, it's a job, and it's summertime, so..." "Oh, riiiight. So you're not vending ice cream or anything." "No." Lina, unable to think of anything else to say, put her hand on his face and pushed him into the opposite wall. "Come on Gourry." They were eating ice cream in their inn, when Gourry accidentally dropped his spoon in such a way as to make the ice cream hit Lina in the face. She licked it off, and turned on Gourry. "Agh! Can't you hold a spoon for more than fifteen seconds without dropping it, mulchhead!?" Gourry stood up suddenly. "It was an accident, ok! Can't I make one teeny mistake without having you bite my head off with that enormous gob of yours, Little Miss Temper! Well, I'm not gonna be yelled at any more! I'm going, 'cause you can obviously do much better without me!!!" He stomped off. Lina continued staring at the door. "What did I say? I yell at him all the time." She turned back to her ice cream, and then ate his as well.  
  
***  
  
Gourry, having been through two towns already, was walking through the fields between the previous town and the next, having failed to notice the road, and felt something hit his foot. He looked down. "ARGHHHHHHH!!! GRASS SNAKE!!!!!! LINAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" He turned and ran, and then stopped. "Wait a minute, I still have pride!" He went back, and stomped on the grass snake. "Ha! take that, grass snake!" The snake sweatdropped, and slithered away. He heard a voice behind him. "You bloody idiot, grass snakes aren't dangerous." He turned around, and saw Death. "ARGHHHHHHHHH!!!! DEATH!!!!!" He ran away again. 'Death' sweatdropped, and rode after him. "He's an idiot anyway, it wouldn't matter... Hey! you! come back!!!" He stopped. "I'm not Death! My name is Poppy Vincent, and I'm lost! Do you know where we are?" Gourry turned around. The figure hailed him again. "I lost the road somewhere back there (it waved its' hand randomly behind it), and I came out in these fields. Do you know how far the next town is from here? Or where the road is?" "No... I was trying to get to the next town, too. I don't think I was ever on the road. I didn't think there was one." "You didn't think, period. How could there not be a road? These are towns, big on the village scale, small on the city scale. There would have to be some kind of road. Towns are major travelling stops. They're virtually built because of travelling! no-one likes cities, apart from city-dwellers, and villages are way too small - half the population are peering in at the windows when you try to shower, not to mention reading and writing... anyway... what was I saying? Oh yeah - so there would obviously be a road somewhere around here. Soooo... do you like pizza?" "Yeah! but right now, I'm trying to find my way back to the road. Can I come with you?" "Weeeellll.... all right. But wherever we go, I'm Koufun, ok?" "You just said your name was Poppy." Poppy tried to think of a way to make the name- changing thing slightly more digestible to the man's single, autistic brain cell. Her mind was used to lying, however, and she soon came up with "To you, I'm Poppy. But to everyone else, I'm Koufun. If you call me Poppy, they won't know what you're talking about. See?" "I get it! So I should only call you Poppy when there is absolutely no-one else listening." "Yes!!! that's right!!!... shall we go?" The man nodded, and Poppy held out her hand. "Get up on the horse. We cover more ground that way." He jumped on to her horse, and she pulled her hood up and took the reins. "Holding on tight?" He nodded. "Then let's go!" She spurred her horse to a canter straight away. The man yelled, almost fell off, and managed to grab her shoulders just in time. Or at least meant to grab her shoulders. He actually grabbed her head and covered her eyes. She screamed, nearly fell off herself, and got his hand off her face just in time to see the - "TREEE!!!" "Ahhhhhhhh!!!" She jerked on the reins, the horse reared up, and she reached out and fireballed it. Then they were back on course, galloping over hot tree ashes.  
  
***  
  
Zelgadis sat up suddenly with a yell. He took a moment to work out where he was, how old he was, and what percentage of him was human. After a while, he reckoned it like this: in a small dark room at about three in the morning on the second floor of an inn, nearly twenty-four, and one third. Hella, how he hated thirds. If he ever got round to finishing his maths GCSE, which he doubted, he'd skip thirds completely. He lay down again, the initial panic of the stupid, reoccurring dream having left him. After three quarters of an hour of trying different positions to see if they helped get him to sleep better, he realized he was craving something. Coffee was the last thing he wanted to crave, but he found himself getting out of bed to get his canteen. "Ach! You idiot, coffee's there to wake you up, and you're trying to go to sleep!" He sat down, then stood up again. "But if you go to sleep, then you'll almost certainly start dreaming again." Down. "Anything's better than no sleep at all." Up. "It comes to the same thing either way. You'll be tired in the morning." A step forward, two steps, three ste- oh oh oh, back to the bed again. "Just go to sleep, or are you crazier than I thought?!" He put his head in his hands. "Oh, great. I'm arguing with myself over a cup of coffee." He had a little more mental debate, and after a while stood up and walked over to his luggage for the coffee. He'd never get back to sleep now. Ever. So he grabbed a science fiction book on his way back to the bed. Nothing like a bit of gruesome sci- fi to put your mind at rest. He continued to read and re-read the book until dawnbreak. He met Lina downstairs, and got some toast and cup of black Lapsang. "Hi Zel!" The sorceress grinned at him from across the table. "Whoa, you look like you didn't sleep at all last night!" "Stupid dreams." He muttered thickly through a slightly too big mouthful of toast. "Oh." Lina turned to her cereal and started eating. (Authors note: imagine Lina Inverse playing the guy from the crunchy nut cornflakes advert where he takes the whole bowl of cereal from the hotel, only speeded up about seventeen times at least.) Amelia skipped happily down the stairs. "Hello Lina-san! Hello Zel-san!" Zel waved, with his nose buried in the depths of his teacup. Amelia got a cheese pickle roll from the counter, and sat down happily chatting to Lina. The sorceress, however, couldn't hear Amelia over the sound of her own chewing, be it for good or bad. After a while, Zel noticed that something was missing. "Where's Gourry?" Lina looked up, blushing. "I, well, he... he ran away. I don't know where he is." She ate the last piece of shredded wheat from her bowl, and stood up. "I have stuff I want to sell. See ya." She left the inn. Zel shrugged. "I don't open my mouth that much, why can't I say the right thing when I do?" He stood up. "I'm going to walk around, see you later." Amelia waved. "Byeeee! Now what am I going to do? I know! Mr. Baaaaaarman!!!! Can I have a chair? Thank you! Now to get to the square..."  
  
***  
  
Nightfall, and Poppy had still not found the road. Her horse was slowing and as there was virtually no chance of their stumbling across a town in the next five minutes, they would have to sleep outside. She dismounted, and gestured to Gourry to stay on. She led her horse by the bridle into the trees, and stopped by a big ash. "Get off." Gourry tried, and hit the ground on his face at Poppy's feet, with one foot still left in the stirrup. Poppy sighed. "I'm no expert, but I can tell you don't ride horses." The horse lay down, and Poppy pulled a dying branch off the tree above them. She sat down, and Gourry sat next to her. She set the wood ablaze with a little fire spell, and soon the wood was burning brightly. "So." She cast around for something to say. "What's your name?" "Gourry Gabriev. What's yours?" She sighed again. "Poppy Vincent. I already told you that. What nationality are you? Russian? Polish? Scandinavian?" "I don't really know. I'm tired. Mind if I sleep?" "Go right ahead." After a while, he was sleeping with his head on her lap. "Gabriev... Do I know that name? Whatever. I don't recognise the face. What an idiot. Dumb blond." She laughed a little. A rumble of thunder far off signalled the rain, which soon started. Poppy flinched and flicked her hand, and a shield grew around them. After a while, she too was asleep. The fire died, but the rain persisted and the pair slept through the entire night without waking. 


End file.
